When Did Being Busy Become the Goal?

Read time: 4 minutes

Welcome to The Ascend Archives, a weekly newsletter where I share a story about a transformation, revelation, or change in thinking that has improved an aspect of my life.

Since when did being busy become a good thing?

Busy with places to be.
Busy with work and new clients.
Busy with plans with friends, parties, events.

And why is the opposite assumed to be bad?

Having no plans on the weekend.
Not having a full slate of clients or meetings.
Having big chunks of time in your calendar with nothing scheduled.

We’ve been conditioned to see busyness as proof we’re doing something right. That’s how it’s been since I was a kid.

In high school, I was told to fill my plate with as many activities as possible. That’s how you look good to colleges.

So there I was the captain of the basketball team, editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, treasurer of the student government, taking AP classes and working summer jobs. You’d rarely find a weekend in my house growing up with much down time.

Looking back, I genuinely enjoyed basketball and the newspaper. But that student government position? I remember the exact moment someone asked me to join. I initially said no, but then they said it wasn’t that hard and looked good on a resume. So I signed up.

Years later, I carried that same mindset into consulting. A full calendar meant I was valuable.

If I had three client proposals in progress, charged 50 hours a week, and mentored younger analysts, that was good. It meant I was producing for the firm and on track for promotion.

But deep down, that version of busy never felt good.

It meant I was reacting to everyone else’s priorities instead of setting my own. Back then, busyness felt like proof I mattered. Every meeting and late-night email was validation that I was needed.

As I’ve transitioned to entrepreneurship over the past year, I’ve been responsible for setting my own priorities. Purely because that’s been the only option. And I’ve started to notice that my days look a lot different.

A lot less busy.

Last week I heard Derek Sivers say something that hit me hard: “Busy to me implies out of control. You’re busy if you’ve let other people shove shit into your schedule.”

I paused the podcast and laughed. He was describing exactly what I’d spent years doing.

That line put words to what I’d already started doing differently, which was slowly moving away from busy without having language for it.

Then Cal Newport’s book Slow Productivity gave me even clearer words. He talks about doing fewer things, working at a natural pace, and obsessing over quality. There is a sustainable, fulfilling way to produce meaningful work over a lifetime, not sprint endlessly toward short-term output.

That resonated.

Because that’s what I’ve been building toward this past year. I still have ambitious goals to build a successful business, just without feeling busy.

That’s why I’ve designed my weeks the way I have.

Mondays and Fridays have no meetings by default.
No client calls. No networking “catch-ups.” No team check-ins.

Those are my wide-open days. I leave them empty on purpose so I can choose what to work on or who to meet with…instead of reacting.

I used to hate the idea of empty days.
It felt like I was wasting time or falling behind.

Now I see that space and light up. It’s the thing that gives me energy.
It’s when I think strategically about my business, reflect on what’s working, and get proactive.

When I worked in consulting, Mondays were full of team check-ins and client deliverables. I felt behind before the week even started. Now, I’m on the offensive. None of my clients expect anything from me on Monday, so I can send them what’s needed before the chaos begins.

It’s hard to state how great that feeling is compared to my old Sunday Scaries.

Fridays are the same way. I leave them open for things that bring me energy. It’s the day I meet with a ghostwriting client whose project I love.  It’s the day I zoom out and think big picture about where I’m going. Or sometimes, it’s just the day I sit by the pool and do nothing like the 85-degree November afternoon in Austin when I wrote this.

That time and space, that lack of “busyness” is where I find the most joy.

This weekend’s a good example.

Friday night I have my sister’s birthday dinner.
Saturday, no plans other than a nine-mile run for marathon training.
Sunday, zeros plans.

That doesn’t mean I’ll sit around all weekend. It means I have the freedom to wake up and do what I feel like doing — maybe try a new restaurant, maybe walk to a coffee shop and write for a couple hours, maybe meet up with some friends for an impromptu hang.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having nowhere to be. And yet on weekends like this I always find something to do without being in a rush.

So while being busy might sound productive, I’ve learned that’s not what I’m chasing.

These days, when someone asks if I’m staying busy, I smile.
I’m not … and that’s exactly the point.

Thank you for reading! As always please reply and let me know what resonated, what didn’t, or what you question. I love chatting about this stuff!

Cheers,

Andrew