Stuck

Read time: 5 minutes

Welcome to The Ascend Archives, a weekly newsletter where I share a story about a transformation, revelation, or change in thinking that has improved an aspect of my life.

This past Sunday at 11 PM, I tossed and turned in bed with ideas swirling in my head.

Planning workouts for the week, thinking about what to say on sales calls, figuring out the logistics for an upcoming event, and dozens of other little to-do's.

In addition, I wondered why "write Ascend Archives newsletter" sat at the top of my priority list for the 3rd week in a row.

It wasn't like I forgot about it.

I knew the topic I wanted to write about. I blocked my calendar to include time to write. But the days would pass and limited to no progress would be made.

I finally got a messy 1,500 word first draft on the page, but then it sat untouched for 10 days. I'd go to my Writing Club every Friday but 45 minutes wasn't enough time to get into a good flow, so I worked on other things.

When I did get back to my draft, it felt like a waste. 90 minutes at the keyboard would pass, and none of the words on the screen made sense. I'd rewrite 500 words only to realize they didn’t align with my original topic.

I was stuck.

I felt as if I drove my Honda CRV into a deep pile of mud with my wheels spinning, but I was going nowhere. Occasionally, I'd get out of the car to push, but it wouldn't budge. Then, eventually, instead of continuing to find a way out, I abandoned it.

It felt easier to prioritize work, running, and hanging with friends over writing. There, I could see progress. Reaching out to 50 potential clients on LinkedIn felt productive. I could complete a 5 mile tempo run from my training plan and know that I was getting closer to my goal of a sub 1:30 half marathon. I enjoyed spending time and laughing with friends.

Writing was the opposite.

Hours would pass and I felt further behind than when I started. Staring at the screen, not knowing what to write was uncomfortable, not fun. After trying to rewrite the same sentence 6 different ways, I'd distract myself with emails on my phone.

And sitting in that discomfort for what?

At least with work, I'm building a business and making more money. With running, I'm staying healthy and trying to beat a time. With friends, I'm building better relationships and creating fun memories.

I was stuck with my writing, but it felt like more than just that.

Zooming Out and Finding Space

Yesterday, I was in a funk.

My energy was low. I wasn't meeting my expectations of landing new clients in my business. My legs were sore from lifting and running. I had several meetings and calls on my calendar. And I still felt far away from publishing that newsletter piece.

3:30 PM hit and my meetings were done for the day. It would have been easy for me to hop on LinkedIn and start reaching out to more prospects to set up phone calls…that's what I've been doing for the last 3 weeks. But I got myself to pause instead and said what would bring me energy right now?

A long walk with no destination or timeline.

Going for a solo walk with no headphones and my phone on Do Not Disturb seems like the most unproductive thing in the world. No podcast. No music. No talking on the phone.

But for some reason it seems to always become the most “productive” thing I could do.

After 30 minutes of walking, I sat down on a bench by the lake. I watched a 2 year old girl chase the birds, an elderly couple admire the rowers, and a woman try 6 times to get a selfie with the Austin skyline (she was ecstatic when I eventually offered to take the photo).

Then, I popped open my pocket notebook and began to write. All of the thoughts circling in my head from the past several weeks dumped onto the page. The first few pages were scattered, but then it started to flow.

Asking and Sitting With The Right Questions

I believe that everything good in life is on the other side of something hard. But knowing that in principle and actually experiencing it is completely different. When I’m in the thick of something hard— I’m confused, frustrated, and sometimes hopeless. It’s easy to lose sight of what the other side even is and definitely how to get there. The only way I’ve found to pull myself out of these holes is to zoom out and find space.

That is what that walk and writing on that bench did for me yesterday.

My business coach Barrett talks about how we all have the answers within us, we just haven’t asked the right questions or sat with the questions long enough to find the answers. Yesterday, I pulled out my list of favorite questions and one hit me hard: “Am I aligned on what I am thinking, saying, and doing?” That is my definition of living authentically and I believe everything trickles down from there.

I realized that I was misaligned in what I was thinking, saying, and doing. I know that I enjoy writing, I was telling myself that I would write it, but then I didn't do it. I know that I enjoy helping people tell their story through writing, I tell people that I’m a ghostwriter for founders, but then I get tempted to chase other projects solely for the money.

With that in mind, I woke up at 6 AM this morning to crank out this newsletter. I'm going to shift my focus to working only with people who want to produce the founder-led content I enjoy writing. And I'm going to only work with people who are helping make a positive impact in the world.

Going for that walk didn't solve all my problems, but going back to the car analogy…it gave me enough momentum to feel my car start to skid. Now it's time to follow through and take action to get me out of this mud pit.

Thank you for reading! As always please reply and let me know what resonated, what didn’t, or what you question. I love chatting about this stuff!

Cheers,

Andrew