Being Different

Read time: 5 minutes

Welcome to The Ascend Archives Tuesday Tale, a weekly newsletter where I share a story about a transformation, revelation, or change in thinking that has helped improve an aspect of my life.

In less than 12 hours, I board a 13.5 hour plane to Africa.

My next adventure begins: 7 day hike up Mt. Kilimanjaro, 4 day safari through Arusha, and 8 days on the beautiful island of Zanzibar.

How is this my life right now?

Booking the Trip

March 21, 2024:

Tim: “When ya gonna be ready for Kilimanjaro?”

Me: “Dude. Name a time”

Tim: “August?”

Me: “Down”

April 23, 2024:

Tim: “How serious are you about Kili?”

Me: “I’d book it”

Less than a month later flights and a tour operator were booked.

For Tim, this was a bucket list trip that he tried to go on previously but had to cancel due to Covid. A trip that he couldn’t find anyone to go with. A trip for a guy who loves to hike, camp, and challenge himself.

For me, this was just another opportunity for an epic adventure. In April, I didn’t even know what country Mt. Kilimanjaro was in. I just knew it was the tallest mountain in Africa, a ton of people who I met while backpacking in Australia had climbed it, and it was a chance to see another part of the world.

Having the Travel Bug

Back to the question of how is this my life right now.

I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel and experience the world. I’ve been to 30+ countries and this will be my 5th continent. Counting this upcoming trip, I will have spent 14+ weeks across 4 continents in just the past 11 months.

Part of why this is my life is because I love to travel. I love to experience the local culture and meet people from different backgrounds. I love to see incredible scenery and be outside. I love trying new foods and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.

Another part is because of my decisions when it comes to work and money. I worked hard for 4.5 years in an intense corporate job while living well below my means. I saved up a good amount of cash that I’ve chosen in the past year to spend on travel. I also am now working for myself. I built in the flexibility to take 11 days to be completely off the grid and be able to take another 10 days to work remotely from a beach on the other side of the world.

These were intentional choices that I made and took action on.

Being Different

Last weekend I was at a bachelor party for one of my best friends.

It was an amazing weekend of golf, boating, beer die, and catching up with close friends. All things I love to do and I was with people I love. But I found myself thinking about a version of the question “How is my life what it is right now”?

That led to comparing myself to all my best friends and realizing that I was different.

I was leaving the bachelor party and heading to Africa for 3 weeks. My friends were all heading home to their fiancé or wife.

I still have trouble explaining what I do for work. My friends are all working prestigious jobs in finance, consulting, or private equity.

I’m renting a cheap room in a house with roommates. Some of my friends are out in the suburbs and talking about country club memberships.

There’s absolutely no right or wrong answer here. I just noticed that in many ways my life looks different and that it was hard in the moment to be different.

I know that I don’t want the prestigious job because I had it and left. But for some reason this weekend hearing about my friend’s lives made me question that decision. The last 6 weeks in Austin were some of the best weeks I’ve had in a long time living in my cheap room, lifting at the YMCA, working from coffee shops, and playing pickup basketball. And yet, hearing about buying a house and belonging to a country club sounded so nice.

This reminded me about how much our environment and who we interact with daily impact our mindset. I knew all of that stuff about these guys prior to the weekend, but something about being around it all weekend had a strong effect on me.

There was nothing anyone could do about me being different. It was just a fact. I couldn’t participate in conversations about wedding planning & honeymoons or the latest trends in the stock market and M&A.

It wasn’t that big of a deal. There were plenty of other conversations I was a part of. I spent the majority of the weekend just relaxing, talking football, and bonding with my friends over random things. But that doesn’t take away the fact that there are some major differences in our lifestyles that made parts of the weekend hard.

Final Thoughts

Yesterday, I was on a run and had some space to reflect on the weekend and my upcoming trip to Africa.

I realized it’s totally normal to get caught up in comparison mode. But in doing that I was straying away from what I actually want and what I actually enjoy. Sure, one day maybe I’d love to settle down and buy a house in the burbs and play golf multiple times per week. But that’s not the season of life I’m in right now. I have found ways to be happy in what my life looks like right now. Plus, I’m surrounded by people in Austin who have similar lifestyles to me. So in Austin, I’m not different, which makes it easier.

Being different is hard, but having the awareness around why I’m different was a helpful mindset shift.

Thank you for reading! As always please reply and let me know what resonated, what didn’t, or what you question. I love chatting about this stuff!

Cheers,

Andrew

P.S. I’m pumped for Africa! I’m going to try to stick to the normal publishing schedule but might have some slight delays due to travel, internet connection, and time zones.